Polyvagal Theory: Explained
Have you ever wondered:
Why your heart races during conflict
Why you suddenly shut down in hard conversations
Why you feel deeply calm with some people and anxious with others
The answer may lie in your nervous system.
Polyvagal theory, developed by Stephen Porges, offers a simple but powerful way to understand how your body responds to stress, safety, and connection.
Let’s break it down.
What Is Polyvagal Theory?
Polyvagal theory explains how your autonomic nervous system constantly scans for safety or danger.
This process happens automatically. You are not choosing it.
Your body is asking one core question all day long:
Am I safe right now?
Based on that assessment, your nervous system shifts you into different states designed to protect you.
The Three Main Nervous System States
1. Ventral Vagal State: Safe and Connected
This is your regulated state.
When you are here, you might notice:
Feeling calm and steady
Being able to think clearly
Making eye contact comfortably
Feeling connected to others
Having access to empathy and curiosity
In this state, your body believes you are safe. This is where growth, learning, and healing happen.
2. Sympathetic State: Fight or Flight
This is your activated survival state.
You might notice:
Anxiety or panic
Racing heart
Irritability
Restlessness
Urge to argue or escape
Your body believes there is a threat.
Even if the “danger” is emotional, such as criticism or rejection, your nervous system may respond as if it is physical harm.
This is not weakness. It is protection.
3. Dorsal Vagal State: Shutdown or Freeze
This is your collapse response.
You might notice:
Numbness
Exhaustion
Brain fog
Disconnection
Hopelessness
When the nervous system feels overwhelmed and unable to fight or flee, it conserves energy by shutting down.
For many people with trauma histories, this state can feel very familiar.
Why This Matters
Understanding polyvagal theory shifts the question from:
“What is wrong with me?”
To:
“What is my nervous system trying to protect me from?”
For example:
Panic is activation
Dissociation is protection
Avoidance is survival
Emotional intensity is a stress response
When we see symptoms through a nervous system lens, shame often decreases. Compassion increases.
What Is the Vagus Nerve?
The vagus nerve is a major communication pathway between your brain and body.
It influences:
Heart rate
Digestion
Facial expression
Voice tone
Social engagement
Stress recovery
When your vagal system is regulated, you feel grounded and connected. When it is dysregulated, you may feel anxious or shut down. The goal is not to eliminate stress. The goal is flexibility, the ability to move through stress and return to safety.
How to Support Nervous System Regulation:
Small, consistent practices can help build regulation over time.
Slow exhale breathing
Longer exhales gently activate the calming branch of the vagus nerve.
Safe connection: Spending time with regulated, supportive people allows your nervous system to co regulate.
Rhythmic movement: Walking, rocking, or gentle stretching can reduce activation.
Temperature shifts: Splashing cool water on your face or holding something warm can signal safety to the body.
Trauma informed therapy: Approaches such as EMDR, Internal Family Systems, and somatic therapies work directly with nervous system patterns.